When even sleep leaves you alone ….

The refrigerator proudly standing to my right makes a pleasing sound. It is its breath. Maybe a few electrons went in the electricity channel. The working of a thermo dynamical cooling system is not something worth pondering upon, people who really wanna work on that, let them work on it. This refrigerator thing is very helpful just in case anybody ever felt grateful to it. It stores tomatoes which rot when kept out. It also helps make water freeze when there isn’t any snowfall. Cake feels safe from hungry ants while residing in the refrigerator.  And then it adds some units in the electricity bill. It also kills the ozone layer that lets us live happy and healthy. Then we wonder where cancer comes from. What this is, that may not be clear, but if clarity comes up, what shall be left to be and do? That wasn’t about the refrigerator I was talking about, by the way.

Sleep is far. Very far. The clock shows 2:00 am sharp. Sleep is not far because it is far; it seems to have been delayed a bit due to its excessive availability and neglectful human indulgence during the evening time. Lives are not getting any better with growing choices and advanced things. Our loneliness is simply being overshadowed by a sense of fake ownership. An ownership that doesn’t exist. Just look at the screen in front of you. It radiates whatever radiation it does, but more than that it is creating a connection that isn’t fruitful in any way. We are turning towards finding problems when we can’t find any more of them in our lives. What matters is not what you do but what you are inhibited to do. Reading the last line once more will allow your lazy ass to shove it deep. And then a little more, yeah, that’s it. What we don’t do is what we always do in our heads. In fantasies. In bathroom. And then, it comes out in form of depression, shame, and semen and lung cancer. Indulgence, that’s not the thing to worry. Inhibition, that’s what needs to be dealt with and stripped off of its pubic hair by plucking. It will hurt, but not more than the hurt that inhibitions have inflicted on us leaving us with soulless spines.

When there’s money in pocket, time at hand and saliva in mouth, why the sweets have to wait to flow down the gut after being ravished by the mighty tongue and ferocious teeth. Weight gain, silly weight gain. The ice cream cone in that small kid’s hand stares back at us, only if we know how to give in. Sadly, we don’t. Desire is not powerful enough than determination. Killing that innocent inner voice is more joyful than the sip of chocolate shake. Food feels pitied, for it pays the price of people feeling inferior due to their heavy bellies and bottoms. Rest in peace you doughnut, rest in peace. Nobody’s coming to your rescue, as people are busy with their liposuction. Bubbye oil soaked samosa, bubbye. The eyes that once glimmered looking at you, they now focus on looking at fitness bullshit. Sorry, that was meant to be fitness blog magazine whatever the fuck. Gone is the time of free indulgence. Now we live to live more when living more is living bore and waiting for living no more. The last line deserves an applause because it was written with patience. Lot of patience.

There is nothing to worry about when there is something to care about. If there seems a destination, journey of pain turns into a path towards learning. What one man can do, it isn’t very far from the capability of another man. For every negative thought, give yourself a pat on the back that you had it, for now it can be turned into something better and positive. Fifteen more minutes and those black coloured clock fingers will make L figure. Motivational quotes are the mucusy piece of dark stinking substance that comes out from the rear hole of a horse suffering from diarrhoea and invites flies to dine on it.

All the things in the paragraph above refer to the shit that we are fed intellectually. Physically, we have those fancy things to eat that have names that end with a vowel (pasta, noodle, pizza, cola….. blah blah blah). They aren’t good, but they are cool, so people have them. Whatever. Consumption in huge amounts of a commodity is not a justification for its worth. But who cares. That fucking Oreo shake is more important than talking a walk with your friend. And don’t forget that roll thing to snack on when there are fruits available to eat. Those empty calories can be shed at the treadmill anyways, you know that. What matters is not undoing things, but not doing them in the first place. Read the last line once more, for the urge to go ahead makes us lose track of where we came from in the beginning.

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Every flower doesn’t have to smell sweet and lovely. Some flowers stink, they are called anti-flowery flowers. They talk dirty, don’t have fragrance, and transfer their pollen to other flowers. They are bad indeed. Bad flowers. Some are sweet flowers. They smell good, don’t allow much pollen in territory and make tasty fruits. But when their fruits go away, their smell vanishes and no more pollen wanna come to them. No more bad-smelling flowers send them pollens. And both the flowers die. Without bearing any fruit together. In next birth, oh lord of the flowers, don’t keep the flowers separate, and please allow them to cuddle together as soon as they smell each other even though there might be no “fragrance”. A smelly flower is as bad as its sweetest flower’s neglect. And then no fruits are born in future. Crap. Crap was the life of that smelly flower. No person even cared for it to put it in the necklace for human neck. No garland had that flower that smelled. Be an anti-flower, and nobody will give a damn about the soft petals you have if there isn’t any nice odour around. The existence of such flowers shall be restricted to living alone bearing no fruit. Their wish to be a valentine flower will always remain a wish. And they will fall off  like human tears often do in solitude.

Love conquers all sorrow, yeah cupid, yeah you son of a bitch. Then why the hell are so many hate porn websites prevalent on the internet. All this is a never-ending battle. A battle where nobody seems to win and none of those “nobody” wanna give up. Why give up when you can be great. Fuck this non sense. Self hurt is not perseverance. Self depreciation is not modesty. Self love is not arrogance. Whatever self-care means, it is obviously more than that sexy bob cut and crappy swag cap. Getting back to love, it is over rated. The heavens don’t burst with angels’ voice. There is no magic bell ringing. All is like before. Same and boring. Now you get somebody to be bored with. Boredom is shared. It seems to dissipate, but gets shared. So it seems to dissipate, but it still remains. More people to love, more is sharing of boredom. But with more sharing, comes more emotion. Emotion leads to jealousy. Boredom now gets another partner to live with, envy. And then, the love leaves. Boredom is back to original level. Jealousy turns to hate. Envy becomes bitterness. We end up where we started, with boredom. Now boredom has somebody with it, while we still wait for cupid to stick its arrow in our butt. And then it all begins once again. Love. Boredom. And more and more and more. And some more. Sleep is then awaited, though it is far.

A yawn indicates something. Whatever that is, nobody cares. Sleep is important. And if we don’t let it come, it doesn’t come when we want. And we end up waking up when we don’t want to be awake. The bed calls for its loner master. Master saves the work. Publishes it and goes to lie  down in the next five minutes. He will see you again. He doesn’t wanna say good-bye because bye is meant to signal separation. And separation is not what the loner master of bed believes in. He believes in sharing pollen with good and bad flowers both. For fruit and for no fruit. He will try to sleep and stick cupid’s arrow in devil’s chest while he’ll dream. Presses update before finishing off the work, and then he leaves.

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