****This is going to be offensive and vulgar. And here is your chance to get your ass somewhere else before it is set ablaze after reading this.
Prostitution may be illegal in some places. But it happens. Dicks are rented. Men offer it. Pussy is bought. Women offer it. Prostitution happens. And it happens at a fundamentally common and simple level. In our love life.
We are all whores when it comes to love and sex. I mean not you. But we as a culture. A chain is as strong as its weakest link. Yeah. And a person is as sane as their most fucked up cultural beliefs. True.
She was sitting beside me. She was expecting something that I was also willing to speak then. I somehow felt that her priorities will be different but was still in doubt. Michael Jordan said that we miss hundred percent of the shots that we don’t take. So I took my shot. Despite full frontal chance of not getting what I was expecting, I told her about my way of love and sex in romantic relationships. She was awestruck and completely pissed off at being rejected. And so was I. Totally feeling like, really, once again this happened. What the fuck, man. When will I find the woman who will see love and sex as something that is shared and not taken or given. I see that girl sometimes but everything is totally off between us. She wanted me and her to feel together. But I wanted something other than that. Sort of….complicated shit. Read on to get into my mind.
We see human relationships as exchange. A barter. And sometimes we are even guilty of bargain and over charging. Now, economics aside, let’s see this shit in simple detail.
When we meet somebody we care enough to get into bed naked, we immediately feel the need to pursue. Pursue them to fuck. Or to love. Or to feel emotionally attached. The thing is that we have to pursue. Manipulate. And speaking from a heterosexual perspective, this is really ass nipping bullshit. Men have to get women. Maybe that’s why getting some ass is also referred to as “getting lucky”. Since it is presumed being totally dependent on luck, it is in the subtext that the woman a man meets, has to be pursued to open up her “reserved sexuality” to him. Thus making him lucky. Similar to bro-science. And then it doesn’t matter that whether prostitution is illegal or not. Because we are all whoring ourselves. To feel worthy. To get love. To get sex. We are “whores” when it comes to relationship.
In our “modern” culture there is a lot of sexual shame. And no matter how much you feel that you are an open minded person, you aren’t. I know. It’s not your fault. We are raised to believe and act as if we are open minded when we are not. If we were, there wouldn’t be this article.
There is the standard cultural narrative that tells us that women somehow, somewhere hold the magic power within them, that can help men get over themselves. And in most cases it is the never ending conquest over the woman’s pussy that men more often than not indulge in. The power is in vagina. Yeah, you got to read that again. The power to unlock the manliness lies in getting inside the warm wet tunnel that women try to “protect”. And men have to pursue them to open up their legs to have sex. That’s where we turn into whores.
- Buying flowers
- Lifelong commitment
- Coffee table gossip
- Cheesy and corny talks
And what not. All to get access to the vagina. Yeah. And women are not to blame. Even men are not. This is about sex in general. Love is seriously more complicated than that. To love we even make false claims of dying for our partner. As if being dead for them will make us be with them forever, which is another claim that is made in “love”. On one hand you claim to live together forever and on the other hand, to die. Total contradiction. Maybe that’s why some people say relationships suck. People like those, give a bad reputation to innocent relationships. Relationships are not to blame, the lovers just haven’t cultivated enough of their “worth” to share themselves truthfully. When we don’t share, we hoard. And we turn into a whore. And sometimes turn the other person into a whore. Renting a person to strip tease or to fuck is far better. Since it has no long term whoring. At least the burden to get what we want and what they have to give shall last for a matter of hours. In real life is takes a fucking lot of time. And money. And far more mental energy. More than what a salesman would spent in a day.
And now let us see the bullshit behind “virginity”. Acid test of sexual shame. Virginity is seen as something that we lose. And for women it is more of a thing that a guy takes and she gives. What the fuck does that mean? Is virginity something that is a piece of commodity which is either sold off for a night over fancy dinner or bartered in the pretext for future relationship? Is virginity some commodity? Is sex something that women have to withhold from men. And do we penis owning straight guys have to pursue and manipulate women to open the door to their mighty hole of enlightenment? Fuck this nonsense. And for some people to have sex with a beginner, aka virgin, it is an ego boost. Seriously folks, grow up. Just because a person didn’t waste time in kissing somebody’s ass to get laid at a younger age, it doesn’t give you any right to make them feel small. And in the last line I told reality. You really have to kiss ass to get ass. You have to please the other person to get them loosen enough to fuck. Or to love. That’s what we see. Men pleasing women. Women being too-hard-to-get. Men being too unattached. Women being clingy. And other fundamental fucking problems. People being “whores” to get what they want. Love. Sex. Attachment. What the fuck is going on in here? Whoring my friend, whoring.
Love is something that you have to keep exclusive between you and your partner. You can’t love anybody else. It will be cheating. Ok, fine. But since parents can love more than one kid of theirs, can’t we love more than one partner? Or is romantic love some sort of special heavenly class of love that is once in a lifetime unicorn-on-rainbow-night thing that can never be shared? And if you do, you are a cheater. Unmoral. Shameful person. Deserving an episode on Savdhan India and Emotional Atyachar. Crappy cat logic.
Sex is something that is worth sharing. Not taking. Not giving. But it is hard finding people who have this opinion. Your virginity is not something that I am winning over and you are losing. Sex is an act of affection we are having together for a memorable experience and a better, deeper connection. You don’t have to withhold it. Neither someone to extract it out of you by coming straight out of a Mills and Boon novel hero, nor you have to sleep your way to a man’s heart. Nothing of that bullshit.
Besides the stupid nonsense that goes in the name of sex education where we are shown well labeled figures of a cock and fanny, there is a deeper problem. Nobody ever fucking teaches us how to feel connected to the other person in a sexual way. How to love with an open heart. If my parents can love me and my siblings just like their parents did to them, why can’t I love that way in romantic relationships without being a cheater?
And if you happen to be non-hetero person, all the best. First you get shamed for who you are and then people tell you to get cured of this disease of being non-straight. Fuck. And for hetero folks, our fate is more or less the same since our shame is subtle and our disease of sexual shame is so prevalent, that it is a common understanding. Obvious one. Yeah. Let’s see what I just wrote in here as we move further. Life is hard for those folks who identify themselves as queer. But they get to meet and be together when they really come up with their true sexual desires. And I am not sure whether they share their hearts and genitals or they too see it as something to extract and withhold.
We learn a lot from movies and television. And what Bollywood tells us is that:
- You got to dance for your partner
- Sing too
- Give fancy flower and dresses
- Give chocolate (fuck you Cadbury silk for burning in a giant sized hole in lovers’ pockets)
- Pursue them
- Take them on fancy dates
- Give them a ring in champagne glass (totally dumbass, even more than dick jokes)
Even Hollywood is guilty of some of that shit. All above teaches us that if you love someone or feel attracted (or feel horny towards) then you got to show your worth to them to get what you want. No wonder people move around with valentine gifts even when it’s no valentine. No issue with you chivalry and taking care. The problem is with the intention. If we do something upfront while expecting something underneath, that is hard-core manipulation in purest possible sense. We become a whoring romantic predator. And I have done that at times. In our mammalian brain, it codes as “predatory”. An obvious fucking threat. No wonder we feel nervous around people who are too caring. We never know when they might try to put their hand in our crotch. Or their tongue in our mouth. Just on the pretext of Bourneville. Or McDonald brownie. Or a nail paint. Or a pair of socks. Or even a good morning. Who knows what the fuck is going on in their head full of sexual shame. Who fucking knows?
There is an underlying aspect of give and take in relationships that exists in our upbringing and culture. The concept of sharing your heart and your body is nowhere in sight. We are told to do something for our partner to make them like us. To feel validated. That’s the most bullshit mindset to begin any sort of human connection. You are already putting the other person on a pedestal, so what the fuck you expect out of them? Love? Sex? No. They won’t give you any of that. A person on pedestal doesn’t share.
Till the time we don’t treat our self worthy and the other person equal, there can be no sharing between us and our partner(s).
Again, the point here being reinforced is that sex is “not” something mystical and worth preserving that some people withhold, and some others seek to pursue. And in the name of bullshit “courtship” we tend to extract resources from the other person in the hope of finally getting a sensual genital rub sometime later in the future. We turn into whores to get sex and love.
In no way I am telling that you don’t have to respect your future lover (fuck buddy, booty call, girlfriend, wife, whatever). No way. You can shower them with as many flowers, hugs, kisses as you want. But the thing is not to give in order to get. It is to share. You share. They share. Both share. Nobody wins or loses. Everybody wins. That’s what the point is. Don’t be a whore to get sex. If you want somebody to fuck, say your feelings out loud and clear (to them, of course). See if they wish to share. If you want to experience love, do the same. Express your heart’s desire. See if that same desire is reciprocated from the other side. And make your choice thereafter.
There is no need to withhold pleasure for yourself and for others. Nobody is using you. Nobody needs to be pursued into fucking us. Sex is not something that women unleash after hours of time spent with men and after lots of money gone to restaurants. It is natural. Just like taking shit. When you feel like, you go ahead.
Body doesn’t ask for much. Sex, food, sleep and shelter. And there is no need to be “whore” about it. No need to feel shitty or shameful. Feel free to share yourself with the person you feel connected to and safe with. There is no give and take. Only sharing. Men and women are equally sexual beings and shall always be no matter how dumbfounded and fucked up the cultural beliefs get.
Now go screw them. The other person if they are willing to, and the culture of sexual shame, even if it is not willing to.
And do be a bitch….oh sorry. Don’t be a “whore” about it. Share. Just share.